I originally posted this on my previous blog, on October 23, 2007:
Some folks assume that if one is disabled, there is a safety net that automatically deploys. Not true. If there was not a support system of family and friends as a safety net prior to becoming disabled, a safety net does not miraculously appear upon becoming disabled. Life is tough for anyone lacking a circle of supportive friends and family. Life can be devastating for a disabled person without a circle of supportive friends and family.
Isolation can be difficult for anyone to deal with. Loneliness, boredom, feeling unfulfilled, and depression can be experienced by any isolated person. For disabled folks, add frustration, and fear.
A disabled person without a support system can be frustrated because the simplest tasks can be a challenge. The simple task of taking the trash to the curb can be more than a 15 second chore for the mobility impaired. In my case, I have a walker and a sharply sloping, uneven driveway. I have to mentally prepare myself because I know that I'm going to be in more than the usual amount of pain when I'm done; and make sure I take my emergency cell phone to call for help in case I fall. Getting groceries can be frustrating. For the mobility impaired, getting a few, light weight items can be relatively easy. However, add milk, or washing powder, or any heavy weight item to the grocery list, and it can take a lot of creativity to figure out how to get that item home. Without a support system, a seemingly simple task can become a challenge; a source of frustration for someone already dealing with a mountain of frustration.
Some situations induce fear in anyone. Natural disasters, or home break-ins. When it happens, you run, so you can get away. Unless, you are mobility impaired and you can't run. Being disabled, and without a support system, means that some part of you is always aware that if something catastrophic happens, you may not have a way to get out of the situation. Since I've been disabled, someone broke into my home, while I was there. Before being disabled, if a thief broke into my home while I was there, I would have gone out of the nearest door or window and run. I couldn't run when that thief broke into my house, though. Fortunately for me, I had a very loud alarm system and had picked up a very sharp knife from the kitchen. More fortunate - the thief was not interested in hand to hand combat with me, and ran off. Running away from danger is imprinted on the core level of the human animal. Not being able to run when necessary; hoping that someone will stop and help you when necessary - these are the everyday, fear inducing truths for the disabled person without a support system.
Taking on the responsibility for the well-being of another person is a huge undertaking. I'm not asking anyone to do that. But, knowing that your neighbor has difficulty getting their trash to the curb, so you take it for them, and bring the trash container back up, is manageable. Knowing that your neighbor has difficulty getting heavy grocery items, so occasionally you offer them a ride to the grocery store, and carry the heavy items indoors for them, is manageable. Knowing that your neighbor is alone, so every now and again, you call or stop by just to make certain they are all right, is manageable. Letting your neighbor, who is alone, know that there is a space in your car if there is ever a need to evacuate the area is manageable. Any of these things may seem like no big deal to you, but they can mean the world to your neighbor, whether that neighbor is disabled or not, because then your neighbor knows that they are not fully alone.
Naomi
Showing posts with label Prior Blog Posts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Prior Blog Posts. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
My Purpose in Life
I originally posted this on my previous blog, on January 4, 2008:
One of the hurdles in my living life disabled is finding a new Purpose in Life. My pre-disabled purpose in life primarily revolved around two abilities: physical, and working multiple jobs if necessary, to achieve my goals. My current physical condition precludes most of my pre-disabled activities. My pre-disabled work skills didn't translated into post-disability income earning capability. So, I set about finding a new Purpose in Life for myself. Something more than my Social Security check being a source of income for utility companies, landlords, and such.
At one point, I decided to become a proponent of the disabled. Armor flashing as I boldly strode into the uninformed world! Smashing myths, crashing through barriers, and opening new doors for the disabled! All done to suitably magnificent choral and orchestral theme music, of course. The reality was that there were numerous agencies, and far better equipped individuals, already doing the necessary smashing and crashing. I mentally canceled the orchestra, and sent the choral group packing. I went for the position of semi-cranky ambassador of being disabled instead. Nice. Doesn't come with its own theme song, though.
Next, inspired by the extremely fertile, feral cat living in my backyard, my next Purpose in Life took shape. I would become a cat rescuer, socializing feral kittens, and working towards getting every cat in the country spayed or neutered, and into a good home! My bathroom became a feral kitten nursery. My fingers flew over my computer keyboard, as I searched the web for cat rescue organizations, and created "kittens looking for good home" posters for veterinary clinics. I learned that there are many cat rescue organizations, and they needed money (which I did not have), not kittens (which I had in abundance). The extremely fertile, feral cat in my backyard sneered at my attempts to capture her (I continually tried to trap her, in order to get her spayed). There were many problems with my new Purpose in Life, not the least of which was what to do with the unadoptable kittens? I thought a death sentence was extreme just because a kitten was not a people person. I kept the unadoptable kittens. Have you met Athena, Mad Martigan, and Bear?
They are sweethearts whom I love dearly, but they were all feral, unadoptable, hellions as kittens. I would have been suspicious of anyone who did want to adopt them. I had to drop being a cat rescue crusader because I couldn't afford to take care of anymore unadoptable kittens. So, I brushing the mouse toys off my lap, bandaging scratches from kitten Bear, dodging bites from kitten Athena, plucking kitten Mad Martigan off my chest, and wiping the kitten food out of my hair, I pondered what to do next.
As of now, I still looking for my new Purpose in Life. I'm not sure if it is out there, waiting for me to find it; or unformed, waiting for me to create it. I just know that it is out there, somewhere. And I bet it comes with really cool theme music.
------------------------------------------------------------------
March 16, 2009:
I originally wrote this over a year ago, and it is still applicable. I'm still searching for my purpose in life, and I still hope it comes with really cool theme music.
Naomi
One of the hurdles in my living life disabled is finding a new Purpose in Life. My pre-disabled purpose in life primarily revolved around two abilities: physical, and working multiple jobs if necessary, to achieve my goals. My current physical condition precludes most of my pre-disabled activities. My pre-disabled work skills didn't translated into post-disability income earning capability. So, I set about finding a new Purpose in Life for myself. Something more than my Social Security check being a source of income for utility companies, landlords, and such.
At one point, I decided to become a proponent of the disabled. Armor flashing as I boldly strode into the uninformed world! Smashing myths, crashing through barriers, and opening new doors for the disabled! All done to suitably magnificent choral and orchestral theme music, of course. The reality was that there were numerous agencies, and far better equipped individuals, already doing the necessary smashing and crashing. I mentally canceled the orchestra, and sent the choral group packing. I went for the position of semi-cranky ambassador of being disabled instead. Nice. Doesn't come with its own theme song, though.
Next, inspired by the extremely fertile, feral cat living in my backyard, my next Purpose in Life took shape. I would become a cat rescuer, socializing feral kittens, and working towards getting every cat in the country spayed or neutered, and into a good home! My bathroom became a feral kitten nursery. My fingers flew over my computer keyboard, as I searched the web for cat rescue organizations, and created "kittens looking for good home" posters for veterinary clinics. I learned that there are many cat rescue organizations, and they needed money (which I did not have), not kittens (which I had in abundance). The extremely fertile, feral cat in my backyard sneered at my attempts to capture her (I continually tried to trap her, in order to get her spayed). There were many problems with my new Purpose in Life, not the least of which was what to do with the unadoptable kittens? I thought a death sentence was extreme just because a kitten was not a people person. I kept the unadoptable kittens. Have you met Athena, Mad Martigan, and Bear?
They are sweethearts whom I love dearly, but they were all feral, unadoptable, hellions as kittens. I would have been suspicious of anyone who did want to adopt them. I had to drop being a cat rescue crusader because I couldn't afford to take care of anymore unadoptable kittens. So, I brushing the mouse toys off my lap, bandaging scratches from kitten Bear, dodging bites from kitten Athena, plucking kitten Mad Martigan off my chest, and wiping the kitten food out of my hair, I pondered what to do next.
As of now, I still looking for my new Purpose in Life. I'm not sure if it is out there, waiting for me to find it; or unformed, waiting for me to create it. I just know that it is out there, somewhere. And I bet it comes with really cool theme music.
------------------------------------------------------------------
March 16, 2009:
I originally wrote this over a year ago, and it is still applicable. I'm still searching for my purpose in life, and I still hope it comes with really cool theme music.
Naomi
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Assumptions
I originally posted this on my previous blog, on October 20, 2007:
Physical impairment does not equal mental impairment. I use a walker, and my movements are slow, and laborious. Many people assume that my mental functions are also slow and laborious. People often speak very loudly to me - apparently assuming that since I move slowly I must be hard of hearing; and/or speak to me as though I were 2 years old. These same folks are consistently surprised when I speak to them as an adult, with some college - which is what I am. The Speak Loudly When Doubting the Person Can Understand You syndrome is one I have never understood. Speaking to me as though I were a 2 year old, I think, is because they are assuming that since I cannot walk normally, I cannot think normally. Assumptions.
Please don't assume. Being in a wheelchair; using a cane; using walker; all signify only one thing: that person needs mobility aid. Being unable to speak clearly means that there is a physical impairment of one's ability to speak, not that there is an impairment to one's ability to think; to understand; and to feel.
If you don't want to say "Hello" or "How are you?" to a disabled person, I hope it is because you aren't the type of person to say "Hello" or "How are You?" to strangers, not because that person is disabled. When you speak to a disabled person, speak to them on your level, just as you would an able-bodied person. If we don't understand you, we will let you know...just as an able-bodied person would.
Naomi
Physical impairment does not equal mental impairment. I use a walker, and my movements are slow, and laborious. Many people assume that my mental functions are also slow and laborious. People often speak very loudly to me - apparently assuming that since I move slowly I must be hard of hearing; and/or speak to me as though I were 2 years old. These same folks are consistently surprised when I speak to them as an adult, with some college - which is what I am. The Speak Loudly When Doubting the Person Can Understand You syndrome is one I have never understood. Speaking to me as though I were a 2 year old, I think, is because they are assuming that since I cannot walk normally, I cannot think normally. Assumptions.
Please don't assume. Being in a wheelchair; using a cane; using walker; all signify only one thing: that person needs mobility aid. Being unable to speak clearly means that there is a physical impairment of one's ability to speak, not that there is an impairment to one's ability to think; to understand; and to feel.
If you don't want to say "Hello" or "How are you?" to a disabled person, I hope it is because you aren't the type of person to say "Hello" or "How are You?" to strangers, not because that person is disabled. When you speak to a disabled person, speak to them on your level, just as you would an able-bodied person. If we don't understand you, we will let you know...just as an able-bodied person would.
Naomi
Monday, March 2, 2009
Helping the Disabled - Some Dos and Don'ts
I originally posted this on my previous blog, on June 25, 2007:
Since I've been disabled, I've been fortunate to interact with a lot of people who want to help me. A heart-felt thank you from me, to each and every one of them. Sometimes the help, though well intended, is not so helpful. The help is always given with the best of intentions, but sometimes the end result is not so good. All of these situations have happened to me.
I'll Get That for You
Please, continue to help, but rather than automatically doing it for me, ask me if I need help. Sometimes, I may be struggling to accomplish something that you can do quite easily, like picking up an item I dropped. You can pick that item up faster, and easier, than I can, but sometimes I really need to pick that item up myself, just to re-affirm that I can still do certain things.
Ha, ha, ha! You Don't Need That Cane (Walker, Wheelchair)
Yes, you are trying to get me to smile, and that can be a nice thing. However, I do need my mobility device, and I'm not particularly happy about needing my mobility device. I will always smile, and welcome, a friendly "hello".
The Arm Grab and Drag
I do move slowly. Please do not grab my arm and try to pull me along at a faster pace. Even with you grabbing my arm, I cannot move at a faster pace. The end result is always my having a sore spot on my arm, or I fall, or we both fall. Please respect my person, and my personal space. However, in emergency situations, please feel free to snatch me up, throw me over your shoulder, and run like crazy.
I'll Take That Walker Out of Your Way
My walker may seem like it is slowing my progress, but it is actually keeping me from falling over. I appreciate that you want to be helpful by getting things out of my way, but I really need to keep my walker.
Yes, I have had a surprising (to me) number of people snatch my walker away from me in an effort to help. I am left stranded, until I explain that I need my walker in order to move without falling over.
Let Me Help You Up (Down) Grab
I can really use help maintaining my balance, especially in a situation involving stairs without hand rails. But, please do not grab my hand, wrist, or arm and pull. We are both likely to take a tumble. Be certain that you are standing in a stable position, and offer up your forearm for me to hold on to. And, please understand that we will have to move at my pace (very slow) rather than your normal pace (much faster than I can manage).
Naomi
Since I've been disabled, I've been fortunate to interact with a lot of people who want to help me. A heart-felt thank you from me, to each and every one of them. Sometimes the help, though well intended, is not so helpful. The help is always given with the best of intentions, but sometimes the end result is not so good. All of these situations have happened to me.
I'll Get That for You
Please, continue to help, but rather than automatically doing it for me, ask me if I need help. Sometimes, I may be struggling to accomplish something that you can do quite easily, like picking up an item I dropped. You can pick that item up faster, and easier, than I can, but sometimes I really need to pick that item up myself, just to re-affirm that I can still do certain things.
Ha, ha, ha! You Don't Need That Cane (Walker, Wheelchair)
Yes, you are trying to get me to smile, and that can be a nice thing. However, I do need my mobility device, and I'm not particularly happy about needing my mobility device. I will always smile, and welcome, a friendly "hello".
The Arm Grab and Drag
I do move slowly. Please do not grab my arm and try to pull me along at a faster pace. Even with you grabbing my arm, I cannot move at a faster pace. The end result is always my having a sore spot on my arm, or I fall, or we both fall. Please respect my person, and my personal space. However, in emergency situations, please feel free to snatch me up, throw me over your shoulder, and run like crazy.
I'll Take That Walker Out of Your Way
My walker may seem like it is slowing my progress, but it is actually keeping me from falling over. I appreciate that you want to be helpful by getting things out of my way, but I really need to keep my walker.
Yes, I have had a surprising (to me) number of people snatch my walker away from me in an effort to help. I am left stranded, until I explain that I need my walker in order to move without falling over.
Let Me Help You Up (Down) Grab
I can really use help maintaining my balance, especially in a situation involving stairs without hand rails. But, please do not grab my hand, wrist, or arm and pull. We are both likely to take a tumble. Be certain that you are standing in a stable position, and offer up your forearm for me to hold on to. And, please understand that we will have to move at my pace (very slow) rather than your normal pace (much faster than I can manage).
Naomi
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
