Thursday, June 25, 2009

Distractions are So Distracting

Not a bad morning. Just a few pesky surprises. eBay related - someone trying to do something they shouldn't, and front yard related - the gentleman who cuts my yard is out of town until Monday. I try to be prepared for dealing with life's ins and outs. I'm good with the expected pesky stuff. I'm dreadful with the unexpected stuff that sneaks in behind me and smacks my bottom. Being like this isn't related to my being disabled. I've always been this way. My stoic resolve is a bit thread bare these days, though.

I did eBay out of necessity, to have funds 'til next I get paid. I'd forgotten that eBay is web central for all manner of nonsense. The gentleman who cuts my yard being away is a reminder that I can no longer do everything that needs to be done. Bummed, I moped for a while. After about 3 minutes of moping, I started to fall back on old, comforting, bad habits. But...wait! I couldn't find my old, comforting, bad habits. Shopping therapy? Loss that with my income drop. Psychological eating? With my gastrointestinal problems (the surgery threat) I'm not so much into eating. Guilty pleasures? The only one I have is watching ANTM, and the season is over. Since I couldn't think of any bad habits to fall back on, I decided to pull myself out moping with positive reinforcement. An affirmation. That's the ticket!

I began telling myself that I was strong. Then, my mind began drifting, and before long I was humming the theme music to "The Bionic Woman", the affirmation forgotten. I remembered another time I tried affirmations, telling myself "I feel good", but I wound up humming James Brown songs. I'm not really feeling fortified, but not feeling as down, either. I wondered if I were too easily distracted, but I lost that train of thought when I saw the beaded crochet bracelet I'm working on. Which was lying next to a book I'm reading. Which has a bookmark I made in it. I wondered where another bookmark I made was. Then...what was I talking about? Oh, yes. Focus! How my morning is going. Well, I'm still going, and dealing with life's ins and outs. I've never been to In and Out Burgers, but I've heard they're really good...