Saturday, June 20, 2009

Pragmatic Girls Wanna Have Fun

While at the grocery store yesterday, there were a number of folks having what appeared to be grocery cart races. Turns out those folks had won a contest at their jobs, and the prize being everything they could get in their carts within 90 seconds free. Sweet. I imagined what I would do if I won such a prize. First, I'd get a pinch hitter, runner, grabber, whatever. I move too slowly, and poorly, to do the race myself. The participants were heading straight to the meat department. I, or rather my stand in, would head straight to the personal item, and cleaners, departments. All those things that make my bank balance cringe when it's time to re-stock. Toothpaste, deodorant, personal items - ahem, antihistamines. Washing powder. I would top it all off with loads of IAMs dry cat food, too expensive for my current budget. I enjoyed rooting for the contest winners. I did ponder that my related fantasy was so pragmatic.

I think what is fun for me has been redefined by my life's twists and turns. Accomplishing the basics has become my new fun. It's fun when after paying bills I have money for groceries from one social security payment to the next. Every day I don't have to have major surgery is a fun day. I have fun when I can finish basic housekeeping before the pain from my damaged nerve puts me down. Not laugh riot situations, but I do get the warm fuzzies. Pre-disabled life is becoming a vague memory. I still mourn for the loss of mobility, and the addition of daily pain. I probably always will, but I don't stop living life disabled when I'm mourning the loss of my pre-disabled life. The changes in my life have changed what I consider to be fun. My fun has changed to what I used to consider pragmatic.

I still have fun. I think I do. Knowing for certain might be fun.


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